F*&#ed up revelations... or... The things you find out about people.

Intense..... I have been in a "relationship" with someone for over 1 year and wow, today I was truly enlightened on... wow, I can't even get proper english out to describe it.  I am friends with my ex-husband.  I have his name tattooed on my arm and my current relationship just lost his damn mind on me about it and how, because I still talk to him, yes daily, he can't help wonder who else I'm shagging.  OMG.... OMFG, really.  Guys, please believe me when I say this... there are real grown up women who really can be friends with their ex's without having ex sex, without having a "RELATIONSHIP" . There is usually a reason for why they are exes.... but at the same time, depending on the way things were the her previous relationship, there may be a very good reason for the friendship.  They may have been good friends first, they may have been married a long time, they may have had situations that made it so they couldn't be together, but if she is with you now, you have to trust that she with with you because she loves you or wants to be with you. The thing is that you have to trust her and know that she loves you.  You can't be insecure in yourself or your relationship. TRUST (that's a great word right) but it really is about that.  If you don't trust the one you are with, it will eat you up like cancer and kill the relationship.  I know that I'm going on a crazy rant here.  I know it, I feel it and I may not be making a lot of sense in this blog, but if you could only feel what I'm feeling.  At least I'm not writing this as one long jacked up run on sentence.  You can see how my  mind is working. Talk about shock and awe.  OK.... my head hurts.  Racing thoughts and I'm really sad to find out that the person whom I with is this way.  I guess I am glad to see the real colors, better now than 5 years from now. WOW, the names that he called me... I know that he was saying things to try and hurt me, it didn't hurt me, but it makes me very cautious. No he did not threaten me. I don't have the money to move. I don't have a place and that's ok, but if you hear of a bellydancer gone missing or worse.... I know that most murders are committed out of passionate rage.... tonight, he was really passionate. He has never been abusive, to the verbal crap that went on tonight was really appalling. The words didn't hurt my feelings, but, hmmm, yeah, makes ones eyes open.  So,ok,.... if you are reading this, you may or may not know me, but if something should happen to me.... you know what direction to tell the investigators to go. Do I think something will happen, no, but still, better to be safe than sorry.  I can't post this to facebook, but here its not as likely.  But if you read it, keep it in mind ok.  I'm 43 (will be 43 on xmas) I live in Sand Springs, OK.  I'm a clinic nurse by day and a belly dancer all the time.  There is a photo in my profile of me.... Nothing has happened to me, and I really don't think it will, but you know, better to be safe, than sorry.